re-evaluate

I'm a little embarassed to say that over the last few weeks I seem to have lost my way.  Life doesn't always go the way you plan or want it to.  I pride myself on being a seasoned multi-tasker.  But when all the lists in the entire world don't seem to keep me on track, I know it's time to take a long, deep breath and re-evaluate the situation.  A fresh set of eyes does wonders.

I'm waiting for my fresh eyes to come in.  Any day now. So let me start at the beginning.

After being made redundant from my marketing job of almost 3 years back in October of last year, I took some time to re-evaluate and figure out what I wanted to do.  By January I was sewing and creating like a madwoman and realising how much I enjoyed it.  Then of course came the realisation that it would be a very long and difficult road to make this a financially-viable full time thing.

In February I received a call from a girlfriend with an opportunity that I couldn't resist.  A part-time marketing position that paid as much as my previous job (except half the hours) which meant that I could keep up my crafting as well as earn some money to pay my way through the realities of life.

By May I hated the job so much that I started each work day wondering if I could just keep driving.  Right on past the office.  Not really sure of the destination, but anywhere seemed better than the destination of my day job.  So I made the (financially) difficult decision to hand in the apron (so to speak).  Thankfully I have a wonderfully supportive husband.  The motto in our house is "we'll get through it, we always have".


I was back to being happy.  Jobless.  But happy nonetheless.  I made the most of my time making, sewing, crafting and even organising Melbourne's own Etsy craft party. I booked stalls at markets making sure I left plenty of time in between to actually make the stock.  Then my husband became jobless.  So there we are.  Two jobless adults keeping our child in childcare so that we don't lose his place at the centre when we find jobs again.

Then came June and reality set in.  Again.  That's right.  Life getting in the way.  Again.  Oh, what's that?  That's right.  We're going to Europe in September for my 30th.  A gift which I demanded.  A gift which we could no longer completely afford, whilst also paying the equivelant of a mortgage in child care fees.  Ah, yes.  There you are.  Life.  I almost forgot you existed.

So here we are.  It's July.  I.m two weeks into a new job. A job working in my paid profession, but not necessarily my preferred job. But the folks I work with are lovely, the work is far-from-crappy and the pay is do-able.  But it's not always rosey you know.  With a full-time job comes the reality of not-much-time-for-the-things-I-want-to-do.  Like sewing.  Crafting. Writing inspiring posts. Reading blogs. Doing lots more markets. Taking lots of photos.

And now that we are both back to working fulltime, we've re-evaluated our finances and realised that we probably can't visit the six European cities we initially planned on.  So Budapest and Munich are off our list.  We have discussed cancelling the trip and cashing in our airline tickets, but my husband is smart and knows that it's not an option.  Cancelled trip = cranky wife.  I wouldn't care as much if it weren't for my 30th.  Something I've been planning for the last 2 years.

It's the reason I didn't post my scheduled 'Inspiration: Budapest' post on Friday.  I guess I didn't want to face the reality.  This blog has sort of turned into my reality and not being able to fulfill what I promise (even if just to myself) gets me a little down.

So we're doing Europe cheap.  Not flea-ridden, bed-bugs cheap.  Just things-are-safe-in-our-clean-hotel-room-while-we're-out-sightseeing-cheap.  We'll still have fun.  We just can't be too carefree with our spending.

So this brings me to my point.  Sorry if I lost you earlier.  Thanks if you've stuck with me and made it to here.  Life throws you curve balls.  Deal with it.  As best you can.  It's all you can do really.

Yes, I'm having trouble getting my inspirational, crafty mojo back at the moment and I think that sharing this kind of stuff is important.  It helps to understand and gives perspective.  Even if just the process of writing it all as evidence.  Get it all off my chest. I'm still here.  Just a little flat.